Language of Lust Review – The Lust Guru
Language of Lust is put together by a guy called Michael Fiore and is part of the ‘Digital Romance’ series of courses. This trip into lustful longings is with a guide by the name of Lawrence Lanoff, who claims to be a “sexual expert-guide” who will take men on a “deep dive into the exciting world of dirty talk, erotic fantasy, and the hidden sexual psychology of women:”. Whew, that’s quite a premise!
Lust rules the roost in Language of Lust, as Lanoff takes you on an extensive tour about the female psyche, mind and, in particular, body. The approach here is to offer as many tips and clues to any guy wanting to turn his female object of desire into a quivering, highly turned on sex machine. Does Lanoff the Sex Guru pull this off? Would a guy come out with a better idea of what turns on women and how to do it? This review of Language of Lust will offer our verdict.
The emphatic word here is definitely that of lust – and that’s certainly the focus of the offering here. Make that an emphasis in neon lights. Our guru here is Lawrence Lanoff, he of Hollywood porn experience and spiritual pretensions. His pretentiousness (for example, with regard to his failed attempts at providing meditation and hypnosis techniques) can get in the way of what’s on offer, which is extensive and quite plentiful.
Misgivings aside, Language of Lust is at least (mostly) true to its aims, which is to provide students with much insight into what makes women sexually tick. Even more importantly for lustful guys, it offers a wide array of tips and tricks on how to get her more lusty – and it does so in a mostly entertaining and adult sort of way. Lanoff may veer off course at times, but Language of Lust is a very decent training course that some guys will no doubt enjoy – very much.
Lawrence Lanoff is the first person who we;re introduced to and he looks like a New Age Patrick Stewart (he of Captain Picard fame from Star Trek). There’s something distinctly Buddhist about his look, tone and approach, at least in this introductory video in which he can be seen looking very much like the equivalent of a dating yogi:
Lanoff sings his own praises very early on, telling us he is nothing less than a sex educator, a life scientist, a hypnotist, a workshop leader and, best of all, a Tantric master. He then makes the astounding assertion that he had the “good fortune” of learning Tantra from the age of – wait for it – eleven. Yip, this guy was getting into the world of tantric sex at the age of eleven…I know the 1970s were very open-minded and experimental, but that just seems wrong on a whole range of different levels…
Moving on from that icky revelation, we then learn that Lanoff directed a bunch of soft porn movies in Hollywood, many of them for Playboy. I’m only giving you this background info as it’s claimed to be the basis for his immense insight into female sexuality and what works for women in the bedroom. Fair enough. The guy might not be the next Christopher Nolan or David Fincher, but at least he’s shown a few ‘adult movie’ professionals how to bonk properly.
The course itself is divided into nine main categories, the first of which is ‘Becoming a Sexual Superhero’ (the guy can’t help the Hollywoodesque references). ‘Understanding the Madonna Whore Complex’ is offered as either an MP3 or a PDF and takes us right back to Sigmund Freud and 1925. Getting all Freudian in a training course about amping up sex with women certainly has a kick to it.
‘The Secret Power of S.L.U.T.’ certainly catches the eye is a title and is all about the immense power of words in seduction. ‘Language of Lust Revealed’ also goes into depth about the power of words when generating lust, one of my favourites being ‘Talk To Her Animal’, which has this ROTFLOL nugget: ““. . . Oh my goodness . . . what you do to me . . . I’m trembling. I feel you . . . my god, I could almost . . . cum . . . just listening to you.” Yip, it does get that silly.
There’s also an ‘opening meditation’ – and I will say this: this guy couldn’t lead a meditation if his life depended on it. His vocal tone, use of words, voice modulation – NONE of it suggests meditation, never mind puts one in a meditative mood. Captain Picar…I mean, Mr. Lanoff could learn a thing or two about how to offer convincing meditations from this guy.
‘Secrets of Female Psychology’ is the next main category and, as expected, it talks as much about female physiology as it does female psychology. ‘Love Her Body. Love Her Vagina’ is certainly insightful and gives a whole bunch of feedback about what women have told Lanoff what they want done to their vagina and even what they like it to be called. There’s lists of the stuff – and, yip, some women like it to be called a ‘vajayjay’…
‘Chemistry and Sex’ brings up another famous name in psychology, this time Pavlov. No, there’s no mention of dog with females here (thank goodness for that… I was still reeling from the tantric-sex-at-11 revelation), but it does go into detail about how to sexually ‘condition’ a woman to what you want, very much like Pavlov famously conditioned dogs when it came to food and ringing a bell. He refers to it as ‘Pavlov’s Pussy’ – enough said.
‘Lust Intensifiers’ gets into her head space. Techniques offered include those relating to that old dating course standby, the ‘head games’ routine. It talks about ‘the sexual zen’ as well as how to appeal to her imagination. Role-playing also gets some discussion, ideas which are taken into further depth by the category titled ‘Erotic Porn Script Technique’. Remember that this is a guy with many years of experience in the porn industry, so he knows a thing or two about ‘scripting’.
Like his attempt at a meditation guide, Lanoff’s ‘Erotic Hypnosis Quick Start’ guide also fails to conjure up the needed eroticism. This has more to do with his voice and tone (all wrong for this type of hypnosis) rather than the prescribed method (which actually might work on a sexed up and compliant sex partner). Lanoff is at his best when working with words or concepts of his own – it’s his attempts at acting the spiritual guru that fall rather flat.
Language of Lust does offer a decent amount of extras, which are featured in the ‘LOL Bonus Content’ section (don’t ask me why the bonuses should be ‘LOL’…). These could include ‘Unlocking the Threesome Code’ (mostly wishful thinking, to be honest), ‘Dirty Texting’ (quite generic, but possibly useful for some) and ‘The Power of Eye Gazing’ (crapola central).
The most revealing of all the extras is ‘Porn is Bad – At Teaching Us About Sex..How to Reframe Porn’ – the guy has some experience there, folks. To its eternal credit, this course seems to be devoid of any annoying or any blatant ripoff clickbait to other courses and the ruthless push to spend more money. For that, I am always eternally grateful of any site of this ilk – as you too should be.
And how does it look and feel?
It looks like, well, nothing special. The layout and visual aesthetic of Language of Lust is distinctly pedestrian and blog-like, rather than that of a swish website. And, really, really bloody annoying, was this constant landing page that happened all too often when clicking back and forth between categories:
What’s To Like About The Modern Relationship course?
- There’s a lot here. Any guy who buys this course will get his money’s worth, if only in terms of the amount and sheer breadth of tips, concepts, ideas and insights that are offered. And it’s fairly on point – i.e. it remains mostly focused on all aspects of lust with a woman and what really gets women going. Not all of it is convincing, but at least it’s not meagre pickings.
- Lanoff doesn’t patronize his students. For example, there are many references to the works and words of famous intellectuals, such as Chilean author Isabel Allende, who is quoted with “For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears.”). These types of asides could across as pretentious to some people, but at least it shows that Lanoff treats his students like men and not horny teens.
- Lanoff says this, openly and with pride: “I love women. Through and through.” And, you know what, I really believe him. And, yes, I think it makes a difference when your dating ‘guru’ really, really likes women. It comes through in their advice, even if some of the stuff spouted by Lanoff is borderline crass and even silly. But at least it beats some of the other dating guys who have such ridiculous notions about female sexuality, that you wonder if they even like women. Lanoff is clearly a believer.
What’s Not To Like About The Modern Relationship course?
- It’s true that there are many categories and a slew of sub-categories on offer here. And that is a positive, as indicated above. However, some of the material seems a bit ‘thin’ in terms of the depth and analysis that is provided. It’s as if you’re at a giant buffet but you can only get small ‘tasters’ of each dish – it stimulates your palate and you may want more, but larger portions are not possible. That can get a tad disappointing at times.
- Lanoff need to drop the ‘existential guru’ act. Yeah, some of the intellectually-minded quotes and concepts are interesting and even add depth to the learning process. But the guy tries too hard to come across as some type of Western swami – he may (semi) look the part, but he doesn’t pull it off. His complete ineptitude at the meditation and hypnosis thing is a big giveaway. Lanoff needs to instead be true to his Hollywood porn roots – raunchy and hedonistic. That would be more authentic.
Language Of Lust
Our Rating: B- (One of our top ratings)
Price: $67 plus upsells
Creator: Lawrence Lanoff
Lanoff may come off as slightly pretentious at times, but his focus is sound and, for the most part, rings true. There are some silly tips and asides to be had in Language of Lust, but it doesn’t offend in being too stupid or too much a case of wishful thinking. His credentials in making porn do actually stand him well – he clearly knows a thing or two about sex and, to his credit, he really likes women and knowing what makes them sexual beings – and it shows.
Language of Lust is not as ‘high-brow’ as it sometimes tries to come across. It’s mostly middle-brow stuff about lust and great sex – and that’s totally cool. It mostly works because there is a lot on offer and because the guy guiding you through the experience knows what he’s talking about. A guy will actually get to the end of this course and have learned some interesting things about what makes women sexual and how to achieve that. And that, guys, is more than most dating courses.