How to Get a Girl to Go out With You: Nine Keys to Success

Nobody really wants to be alone in this world, but it can be hard to find that special someone who just clicks with you.

In fact, it can be hard even to get someone to go on a date with you!

In today’s fast-paced world, dating can seem like a necessity that you just can’t grasp.

Figuring out how to get a girl to go out with you, especially if you haven’t been dating much, can be hard!

The first key to remember, however, is that the right girl would be happy and lucky to go out on a date with you.

If you are ready to start dating more in hopes of having some great memories and maybe even finding a lifelong companion, follow our nine key pieces of advice.

How to Get a Girl to Go out With You

With these tactics and tips in mind, you’ll be on your way to feeling more confident and secure in your dating game.

#1: Be Ready to Date

Before you even think about going on dates or getting a girlfriend, you need to think about whether or not you are ready for that.

  • Do you know what you’re looking for?
  • Do you know what your goals are?
  • Do you know who you are?

These can seem like huge, overwhelming questions, and they are!

You don’t need to have every single aspect of your life figured out, but most women have a sense of when someone has self-confidence and passion in their life and when they don’t.

Positive Aspects of Your Life

You want to show that you have several things going positively for you in life, such as:

  • You have hobbies, passions, wants, desires, and general interests in life beyond just finding girls and dating them.
  • You know what you are looking for: casual dating with the potential for long-term, long-term commitments only, or something else.

Clear Intentions and Expectations

There are also a few things that you need to keep clear with yourself while you are trying to date:

  • Know your boundaries and respect others’ boundaries.
  • Know that not every date or every time you ask someone out will be a success.
  • Know that not everyone is going to click with you.
  • Remember to keep yourself somewhat emotionally open.
  • Keep a positive mentality and shut down any internal negative feedback that you are giving yourself.

By keeping these things in mind as you work through the other eight tips that we have for you today, you’ll be able to move into the dating realm with more confidence and ease, and that is essential.

#2:Pursue the Right Person

It can be easy to start asking nearly any woman you meet to date you because you are becoming somewhat desperate for a win.

Though this is a natural reaction, you need to remember that not every person you meet is going to be someone you can go on a date with.

Rather than trying to ask every single girl you meet out and failing frequently, step back and take a moment to decide if you are pursuing the right person before you start to chase or woo her.

The Signs

Think about the types of signs she is giving you, and what those signs might mean:

  • If she talks about what she wants from a relationship, she’s interested in dating.
  • If her body language is leaning into you even during casual conversation, she’s interested in dating.
  • If she asks deep or curious questions about you, she may be interested in dating.
  • If she says she’s not interested in dating, she isn’t interested in dating.
  • If she tells you that she doesn’t feel chemistry with you, she isn’t interested in dating.
  • If she tries to set you up with her friends, she isn’t interested in dating.

There are hundreds of different signs that someone might give you while you are pursuing them, so pay attention to what they are subtly telling you.

There is no reason to waste your time chasing after someone who isn’t going to go on a date with you; learn to pay attention to what they are saying and adjust your plans accordingly.

#3: Don’t Plan Too Much

When you are proposing a date, don’t go overboard and plan too much.

That is especially true if it is the first time to hang out with the girl one-on-one.

It might seem romantic to plan a huge date that incorporates many stages and a lot of planning, but this can be and usually is very off-putting to women when dealing with a first date situation.

Overplanning a first date can make it seem like you are obsessive or overly intense, and many women are going to see that as a red flag.

They won’t see it as a red flag because of you in particular, but women have had to become more and more cautious over time because of the way some men have treated them over time.

It’s okay and important to prepare for a date, but asking a woman to go on a three-stage dinner adventure for your first meetup might not be the right fit.

#4: Don’t Plan Too Little

On the flip side of our last point, it is also important not to plan too little. We know; it’s confusing!

Think of it this way: you wouldn’t want to say something like, “I guess we can hang out for a bit.", which makes it seem like you don’t care at all.

On the contrary, you don’t want to say “I paid hundreds of dollars for a private show and dinner.”, which makes it seem like you are far too intense and invested at such an early stage.

Invite a girl out for a special date with a unique idea, but don’t make it too bold. 

Plan a nice night out or a fun afternoon with an activity or two, but don’t go overboard.

Keep the date contained to around two hours at the base planning level; both of you can always decide to hang out for longer if you are getting along even if it wasn’t in your original plan!

how to get a girl to go out with you

#5: Slow Down

Remember that the world is not all as instant as a message.

Online dating is quick and easy in many ways, but that doesn’t mean that getting to the dating stage with a girl you like is going to be an immediate thing as well.

Dating and love should not be rushed.

Take your time with it; enjoy the process of getting to know a girl.

By keeping the situation very low pressure throughout your friendship and as you get to know each other, it will be less stressful or anxiety-inducing whenever you ask the girl to go out with you more regularly or even for your first real date.

Pursuing someone too quickly can easily give the impression that you are looking for a casual hookup rather than a dating situation, so keep in mind what type of impression you want to give when you are wooing a girl.

It’s not a race!

#6: Choose Thoughtful Gifts

Should you have an occasion to give a gift to a girl you want to go out with, take the time to come up with something thoughtful for her.

You can’t buy someone’s affection with gifts, no matter how much they cost, but you can show them you truly care about them and have an interest in who they are.

For example, you could pick up a book that you talked about wanting to read as it would show her that you remembered and valued the conversation.

On the flip side, you could buy her something that fits in well with her hobbies, and this gift would let her know that you find the things she does both interesting and worthwhile.

Gifts can give off a lot of signals like these.

Finding a great gift doesn’t need to be complicated, but it should be a process that you undertake with care.

#7: Focus on Compatibility

When you are asking a girl to be your girlfriend or out on a date, consider sharing with them why you think that it would be a great idea.

For example, if you know you are both looking to go on some fun dates and get to know potential partners better, say that when you ask her out!

Focusing the question on the points of dating compatibility that you share will make it a smoother process overall.

Plus, it’s always important to be clear about what your expectations are!

#8: Talk About Different Topics

When you’re having a conversation with a girl you want to date, make sure you are changing the topic of discussion from time to time.

If you keep talking about the same thing for too long, you’re both going to run out of things to say, and you won’t be able to easily come back to that topic to pick it up again in the future.

As you are talking, allow yourself to comment on tangental areas and move into different topics that are somewhat related.

By moving through the conversation like this, you won’t be cutting anything off, but you will be ensuring that the conversation remains interesting and continues for a more extended period.

If you aren’t sure what kinds of topics to discuss, consider that most people, especially women, have something to say about the following areas:

  • Travel
  • Life goals
  • Aspirations
  • Funny anecdotes such as embarrassing moments
  • Music
  • Art
  • Anything she has mentioned she has a passion for

When you have an idea of different topics that you might be able to talk about, it will become easier to move through topics with relative quickness and ease so that you can keep the conversation going without letting it stall out.

#9: Listen!

Make sure that you are truly and properly listening to any girl you are interested in dating.

Many people are not very good at listening.

We are all so used to focusing on talking and sharing what we think is the right thing to say that we forget that listening is just as important, if not more important than talking!

Listen to what she is saying, and make eye contact with her when you can.

This will show you are engaged with what she is saying, and it will make it easier to keep up with the mood and feeling of the conversations that you are having.

The only way to be successful and confident when asking a girl to go out with you is to be sure you have the vibe right.

Listening will help you to figure out the vibe and lock in on the right moment to ask her out.

When a girl gives you clues that she is not interested in you romantically, listen to them!

She doesn’t want to lead you on, and you don’t want to waste your time trying to win over a girl who isn’t right for you right now.

It’s okay to play the long game whenever you both are interested in each other at some level, but you need to be able to listen for the signs that it will never work out as well.

You've Got This!

It can be tough to know how to go about asking a girl out, but you have all of the tools that you need to successfully find yourself on a date with a girl you are interested in or even regularly dating someone who hasn’t been quick to commit.

The key things that you need to do are to be yourself, be patient, and listen.

By doing these things while you are engaging with the girl you are interested in, you’ll be able to go on a date with her and find out if you have the right kind of compatibility.

Remember that dating is not about finding a perfect relationship the first time.

Instead, you’re testing out how well you match each other and if there is enough chemistry for more dates.

Keep this in mind while you are figuring out how to get a girl to go out with you, and you’ll find more success than ever before!

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