Speak To Spark Arousal Review – Anything But Arousing

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Wimpy in intent and ambition this training is not. As it boldly states on the landing page: “Welcome to your Speak to Spark Arousal system…your one-stop shop for getting women hot and wanting you within just one conversation”. Wow, a one-stop shop for getting women hot and wanting you in just one conversation! What guy could resist that?!

This training seeks to focus on one thing and one thing only: arousal. And everything that goes with it. That includes how to spark that arousal in a woman, what things to say, how to flirt successfully, and, ultimately, how to ensure that she’s left wanting you in a bad but good way. And good sex, of course.

The pay-off here should be  instant and in the now. This is surely one-stop, one night stand territory here. No talk of love, no talk of relationships – it should be all about arousal, sexiness and sex. Right? The name certainly suggests that. The vision is uncompromising here. That is why “Avoid Becoming “Just Another Guy” Tonight” seems an appropriate byline to the main logo, as seen here:

Speak To Spark Arousal logo
Speak To Spark Arousal logo

This training is seemingly brash and confident in what it states it can do. So then, how does it do? Does the training hit the mark? Does it provide invaluable insight into how a guy can spark arousal in a woman that quickly and assuredly? Could it work? That will be the assessment in this review of Speak To Spark Arousal.


Our hostess here is Jessica and she makes the very valid point that so many dating courses aimed at guys are done by guys. Jessica calls this logic into question, claiming that a woman’s perspective would surely be beneficial for any guy wanting to get real insight into how to date her – and have sex with her. If only her training course had been as bold and assertive as Jessica’s logic on that score.

For someone so seemingly savvy about sex and with so much experience in the field of sex, the actual methodology on offer in Speak to Spark Arousal is disappointingly limp and hardly arousing. This is huge letdown – after all this is a woman who is a relationship expert and used to write a sex column for porno. Why then is her training course such an ode to Betty Crocker boring?

Most damning of all is the fact that Speak To Spark Arousal positively does nothing to offer valuable tips on how to get the girl all hot for the guy on the very first date or time they meet. Talk about misleading! Nothing in this course prepares a guy on how to be an instant point of arousal for a woman. Nothing.

That is why Speak To Spark Arousal (and, yeah, that course name is beyond awful) is a massive failure on so many levels. And that is why the best advice that I can give you when it comes to this particular training can be summed up in just one neat word: avoid.

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The Lowdown…

Although this is training squarely aimed at guys, an interesting twist to Speak To Spark Arousal is that it hosted by a pert, quite bookish-looking Asian-American lass called Jessica. Here’s Jessica, our self-professed arousal guru:

Jessica, the arousal guru - so she says...
Jessica, the arousal guru – so she says…

Her claim to fame is that she’s moved from being a relationship therapist to a sex advice columnist for porn and “now a leading coach for men”. Those are some claims, and should go some way to explaining Jessica’s raunchy approach and fixation on arousal. Again, so one would assume.

Like nearly all of these training courses in the training genre, Speak To Spark Arousal is primarily presented in a number of Modules. The modular approach is decidedly ‘Domestic Goddess’ in tone, with titles like “Baking the Sex Cake,” “Mixing Ingredients and Baking that Cake” and “The Number Sandwich”. I’m not sure how ordinary guys will respond to these femme touches, but they do seems odd choices.

Right off the bat, Jessica hones in on what she calls “The Rule of 3,” which amounts to a triangle based on three needed components (should that be ingredients?) for arousal to occur: Me, You and Us. And, by the way, the ‘Me’ here means you, the guy, whilst the ‘You’ actually refers to the girl. Self-explanatory, of course. Yip, that’s how Module 1 kicks off and how we get to bake that “sex cake”.

She starts off by speaking at length about her ‘hot but relationship-unsavvy’ brother, which is a tedious reference point. She does, however, make the interesting point that women too often and too easily get to be dominant with a man. Jessica claims this is a no-no – “Stop putting the ball in our court – we don’t want that fricking ball!” she exclaims. Well, maybe some balls then, huh, Jessica? (Sorry, couldn’t resist…).

She reminds guys that it’s their dating lives and that they need to own it. Basically, Jessica tells guys that women don’t want to be in the driving seat (“it’s like getting into the passenger seat of your own car” is her interesting take on that). And, of course, the ‘Friend Zone’ is tantamount to Dating Purgatory – no, no, no.

Module 2 is entitled “1-2-3 Talk,” which is a strange, even confusing title for what to do once the ‘connection’ has occurred and you’re in the process of ‘baking that cake’. Ingredients come to the fore here, where the guy needs to ask himself: Who am I and how does she fit into my life? Does she have the right ‘ingredients’ for me? Yeah, this chick is obsessed with baking, what I can tell you.

Besides recipes, Jessica also has formulas to share with her guys. The one is called ‘PRS’ which stands for Personal Relevant Statement, which is about generating interest. The other is the ‘HAY’ formula = How About You, which is about gleaning personal information about her, not just token stuff like “I like tea”. Rather, it’s about why she likes tea…say what?!

“Ring Around the Rosie” sounds damn interesting as titles go, even deliciously salacious, right?! Wrong. It’s all about not going around in circles with boring chat but, rather, bringing the ingredients together so that the connection can really be made. Yeah, it’s those damn ingredients again.

Then it’s time to get the cake into the oven, or thereabouts. Hell, I know how suggestive that image is, but hang on before you get all excited over nothing. Because all that Module 3 is about is how to get her to smile, then how to get her to laugh and how to make her feel good about herself, so she feels good about you. Yeah, because we’ve never heard those suggestions before.

Module 4 is about ‘putting the icing on the cake’. Now that simply has to be what we think it’s about, right? Suggestively sexual to hell and back, surely?! Not so quick. Here Jessica prattles on about ‘staying in conversation’ (Christ, hasn’t there been enough talking by now? Surely arousal has hit its peak, huh?) and, then, wait for it…*dramatic drum roll while I roll my eyes*…being able to get her number. Yip, all this, and you’ve yet to get her godforsaken number!

“The Heavenly Home Slice” gets us to that magical moment for most guys – getting her into the sack. After all, as Jessica coyly suggests, “You baked the cake…you may as well eat it, right?” Too right! Especially after all this damn baking. But, and here’s the warning: you will not be able to enjoy that cake unless you’ve gone through all the (very tedious) steps to bake the cake. Okay, hon.

There’s a PDF with this module as a kind of ‘homework’ teaser, the sum total of which is:

  1. I’ve got [insert something you know she likes/wants/enjoys doing] back at my place
    2. and we’re gonna go back and [insert what awesomely awesome thing you’re going to do with the latter]
    3. cuz I’m having too much fun with you and I don’t want our night to end just yet. *followed by a smirk and gaze into her eyes*

Geez, thanks for those pearls of wisdom, Jessica.

Baking cakes? Why she likes tea? Having to go through all of that rigmarole just to get her fricking number? Hang on, am I missing something here? I thought this was supposed to be simply about arousal and getting her to fall for you the first time, no questions asked?!

By this time I felt just like Rhett Butler and frankly didn’t give a damn…

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There’s a whole paid seven-part bonus series called “Bring Her To The Brink”. Where the main training (Speak To Spark Arousal) is about as sexually arousing as a rained out picnic, at least Bring Her To The Brink is sexual and explicit. It starts immediately with Module 1, which is all about bringing her to an orgasm, and how it’s not full and hard penetration that does the trick.

Sections like “The Floodgates Analogy – Attacking the Wall vs. Opening the Floodgates” – well, you get the picture. Mental stimulation, as in “Flipping Her Master Switch” (Module 2) and “Her Erotic Switches” (Module 3), not to mention “Orgasmic Frenzy” (Module 5) give a guy a lot to chew on (ahem) when it comes to pleasing his woman. And, coming (ahem again) from a woman , the advice seems sage enough.

As far as I could discern, there were no other bonus features, articles, links, PDFs, audios, etc. up for offer, whether as freebies or as paid clickbait. This made the already weak content for what is presented in this training seem even weaker and backed up by…well, nothing.

And how does it look and feel?

The logo is evocative enough, with its strong purple colour scheme. It is a fitting logo for a training course that is strident and confident in its message. And that’s about it. The rest of the site is uninspired, with just a plain white background and no other visuals or animation to vibe it up. It’s like something quite eye-catching and appealing  set against a drab whitewashed wall.

The site is easy enough to navigate around, in that simplistic and click-here-click-there blog sort of way. The audio clips are, well, audio clips, and the video clips…just as boring and visually unappealing. Even the Bring Her To The Brink presentations are nothing but shit dull PowerPoint slides – with nary an interesting picture or illustration in sight. Just a few prompt words on a screen and Jessica jabbering away.

There are also some crappy graphics littered all the way down the landing page, like this one used about ‘taking it to the next level’:

Super Mario = 'taking it to the next level'...
Super Mario = ‘taking it to the next level’…

Or this one to do with “the differences between the dogs we ditch and the wolves we want”:

Dogs and Wolves = dodgy analogies
Dogs and Wolves = dodgy analogies

As can be seen: amateur hour in the visuals stakes.

What’s To Like About Speak To Spark Arousal?

  • It’s very difficult for me to find anything worthy of note in this training, but the female perspective given by Jessica is at least refreshing in a genre that is almost completely dominated by guys – and usually very annoying guys at that
  • Some of the sexual advice and more explicit tips are helpful. Again, provided by a woman, they do ring true, and this is an angle obviously missing in training put together by male dating gurus. It doesn’t come anywhere near saving this trite training course, but it’s an interesting aside.

What’s Not To Like About Speak To Spark Arousal?

  • The course is bogus. Yip, it is. You cannot trumpet your course as being the single means by which a guy is going to get a girl all hot and aroused in just a single night, and then your entire course is nothing more than a series of flirtations and back and forth (endless) chats and discussions going nowhere. And, no, shoving in a few mentions and modules about female orgasms and how to penetrate properly doesn’t cut it any slack, Jessica!
  • The baking-cum-kitchen motif. It just got annoying beyond belief, and only served to drive home just how disconnected the bold name and statement of intent for Speak to Spark Arousal was from the actual training offered. We’re taking galaxies apart. And those ‘baking the cake’ references got bloody tired quickly. Jessica came across as much a believable guru about arousal and sex as does Nigella Lawson. And at least Nigella is more sensual and sexy than this half-baked training could ever hope to be.
  • Her voice. It often drones on in a whiny sort of way. Sorry, but I’m not sure that many guys will find her Valley Girl nasal intonations remotely captivating, never mind inspiring. I for one found her voice too often borderline annoying. She sounds like a girl chatting away with her girlfriends on Skype or at some trendy bistro, hair a-flicking away as they chatter and giggle about guys and orgasms and other such girly stuff. And a guy would find this inspiring because…?
  • The name? I mean, who the hell comes up with a mangled name like ‘Speak To Spark Arousal’? It’s like something that a third-rate Cambodian take-away restaurant would conjure up. Jesus!


Jessica comes across as the girl in high school that everyone thinks is the school slut because she so plays it up and makes everyone believe it. In the end, she’s nothing but a prudish virgin. That is how Speak To Spark Arousal comes across – full of brash bravado and in-your-face sexuality, which, as it turns out, is actually quite tame and pretty lame.

It’s not enough that this course has a woman providing dating advice to guys. It’s not enough that she talks about how a woman wants to experience an orgasm. And it’s not enough that she postures all hyper-sexed, with claims that she can make a guy get girls to be hyper-attuned to his arousal prowess. And then all we get are cakes getting made at huge length, with the eating thereof almost an afterthought.

Where’s the real, tangible how-to on arousal and how a guy can harness it on any girl that he wants? And how to get her into that state the very first time? After all, that’s the claim on this box. There is positively nothing in this training that suggests such sure-fire arousal. Nothing irks a person more than being promised one (titillating) thing and being offered something quite different, the very dampest of squibs. It’s a letdown – even deceiving.

Arousal here is perchance. We’re back to the old, tired dating games and suggestive little words and their like. That is not what is promised. And that is why, gents, that Jessica and her pseudo dating for baking fetishists comes across as totally unconvincing and even very misleading. Because it is – to her total discredit. Speak To Spark Arousal sparks nothing and is a big, fat fail.

Grade: F

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