The Bad Boy Formula seeks to bring out the bad boy that is inherent in all guys. It even insists that bad boys have gotten ‘a bad rap’ for being “the jerk” or “the asshole to women,” which is not true. It’s not about being fake or being a total schmuck to women, so the logic goes here. Instead, the emphasis should be on a guy becoming a real ‘bad boy’ – being self-confident and able to attract a woman on his terms.
This it hopes to attain with an intense and comprehensive analysis into what it means to be a bad boy and how to become one. Ultimately, what is important in The Bad Boy Formula is that a guy attain that all-elusive and difficult touchstone for many guys – finding their inner alpha male – or make that Alpha Male. Being a bad boy and being an alpha male are synonymous with each other.
The Bad Boy Formula makes a bold statement on its landing page: “We’re totally confident that you’ll love this program, and we believe that our customers make the best evangelists.” So, does the Bad Boy Megachurch convince in its sermons? Will it make true evangelists of the guys who follow its gospel? Are there truths in the gospel? This Bad Boy Formula review will deliver a verdict on this chapter and verse.
The course’s creator and dating guru is Carlos Xuma
The creator and narrator of The Bad Boy Formula is Carlos Xuma, who uses a mix of pop psychology and endless slides with drop-down categories and menus to get his point across. The point here is that a man can become a real bad boy without being a total asshole or jerk about it. There are techniques to attaining this Dating Guy Nirvana – and, oh boy, does Xuma lay it on thick.
When it comes to categories and sub-categories and sub-sub-categories, there’s no stopping this guy. Xuma is enthralled by the minutiae of the concepts that he proposes, going into the smallest of details and providing example after example, and issue after issue (and every sub thereof). What is lacking is context. What are the overriding topics and themes of The Bad Boy Formula? I couldn’t begin to tell you.
The problem is that there are no overriding topics or themes that stick, which means that after a while the information provided becomes a morass of endless, copious information that has no discernible beginning, middle and end. Ironically, for all the many, many drop-down menus and click-here-and-point-there of his presentation, there’s no logical structure here.
One comes to the end of The Bad Boy Formula having sat through huge amounts of information and points of view, but with no idea of how to proceed from point A to point B. For all his sermonizing about the wonders and ways of being a bad boy, Carlos Xuma does not offer guidance that is cohesive, logical and even convincing. It’s an experience that’s all posture and a lot of work, but little substance.
The training provided for The Bad Boy Formula is centered around 8 Parts divided into no less than 14 videos. The training commences with a broad (and, frankly, all over the fricking place) outline as to why the bad boy approach is the most ideal one for guys when dating, as well as providing an overview of what to expect throughout this entire dating course.
The ‘Bad Boy Formula’ is the first point of reference. Features include Why Being a Bad Boy Works, the Psychology of Men and Women, Mating Strategies, THE IDEAL (yip, all in caps) and STRATEGIES that a guy can take on board to becoming a real bad boy. Strategies are important, and they run a fill gamut here, from Independence to RISK to GOING TOO FAR to BALANCE!, etc. Yeah, the guys loves caps.
The ‘Nice Guy’ is the ‘wuss,’ ‘the pussy,’ the loser is the antithesis of what Xuma espouses as being the needed bad boy. And he tells us that guys fall into the trap of being the ‘nice guy’ not because they’re trying to be nice, but because they’re trying too hard to be accommodating and attempting to placate and please the lady. That, he tells us, is a losing strategy – and is anyway not what most guys really are anyway.
Xuma tells us about the ‘Spectrum’ of guys that are out there (and from within all guys), ranging from the proverbial loser (i.e. the Nice Guy) to The Good Guy to The Alpha Man to The Bad Boy, the Player, the Abusive and, my personal favourite, The Complete Asshole, Hey, bud, don’t hold back! Basically, the Asshole is nothing less than a sociopath or even psychopath. Whew.
As expected, the real zenith of masculine achievement is that of being the alpha. The Alpha Male is where it’s at, according to The Bad Boy Formula. That is where real confidence resides and where a guy will get the most out of women and his life. Too bad that so many men simply aren’t alpha males, hey Carlos?
The training quickly slips into Star Wars territory, what with the ‘Dark Triad’ and the ‘Light Triad’. Supposedly derived from “psychology circles” (yeah, because we know how much psychologists are all basically sci-fi fans), the ‘dark triad’ refers to three of the worst character traits, namely narcissism, Machiavellianism and psychopathy (the last four of which the poor guy couldn’t even pronounce).
The ‘light triad,’ on the other hand, has the holy guy trinity of masculinity, confidence and independence. These feed into the differences between the ‘Player’ (the boaster, the schmuck, the one who is sleazy, the one who only wants women as conquest, etc.) and the ‘Bad Boy’ (the one who never boasts, the confident one who understands women, likes them, etc.)
Psychology runs thick and fast in this training course. Ever heard of the ‘Pendulum Theory’? Neither had I, but Xuma explains how guys can veer from one extreme behaviour to another (hence the pendulum). Even childhood comes into play as to why guys are bad boys or even ‘bad men’. Xuma even explores the four ‘weaknesses’ of all men, namely Hair, Penis Size, Height and Career and earning ability, and how these beacons of insecurity can impede all guys. Hey, the guy makes a good point there!
“SWAT Tactics” incorporates being a ‘Nice Guy’ while also being a ‘Bad Boy’. Hang on, I thought nice guys were basically losers, Carlos?! Hmmmm. It all loops back to the holy trinity (the “Holy Triumvirate” as Xuma calls it) for guys: masculinity, confidence and independence. It’s not about being a creepy, comical gigolo. It’s about being a playboy in the best sense of the word, i.e. what it is to be a truly alpha male.
Miscellaneous things you can do to be a real ‘bad boy’ includes the frankly stereotypical (“get a piercing or a tattoo”). As if getting those in this day and age actually sets guys apart from most guys, right? Yeah, right. Another yawner is how the real bad boy seldom calls (i.e. “leaves her wondering”) and even wants to date her best friend (“works the jealousy”). Yeah, that’s really effective stuff you’re suggesting, Carlos.
The “Bad Boy Lifestyle” is covered in a 55 minute video that is an ode to masturbatory wish fulfillment. covers topics ranging from Vocation to Home and Friends, Car, Image and Input (all categories in CAPS, of course), providing some type of (screwed up, nonsensical) logic about how a bad boy can live himself into his role.
Xuma rates his “Bad Boy Formulas” (i.e. “practices”, aka “Lock and Load Formulas”) as the most important part of the entire training course. It’s a series of things-to-do, preferably over 30 days, that allow a guy to reveal the inner bad boy (actually, alpha male, but why quibble over technicalities) and be a success in all he does.
Some of his pearls of wisdom include “7. Freak her out,” “11. Say NO to 3 people this week,”15. Show them you don’t give a shit” and “19. Mess with people”. Real smart stuff. A real gem is 14, which is titled “Embrace your inner asshole – hang out with some jerks”. I have a feeling that Carlos has handy access to quite a few acquaintances that fit the bill.
Laugh out loud bullshit comes with his “references” video in which bad boy ‘archetypes’ include the likes of rock stars, thugs (for sure), DJs, fitness coaches (LOL), bartenders and, what a surprise, celebrities. Fictional characters (all of them movie references, please note) that are ‘bad boys’ include Captain Kirk, Rambo, James Bond and even Don Juan Demarco – I couldn’t make up this crap if I tried.
His so-called “Case Studies” are nothing more than his wide-eyed analysis of clips showing ‘bad boys’ in movies, which I think hardly constitutes empirical evidence of how The Bad Boy Formula actually works! The final video is tantalizingly called “Busting Balls” but is simply the clip of Joe Pesci’s famous “Do I make you laugh’?” rant from the Scorsese mob film Goodfellas, and Xuma’s gushing take on it…uh huh.
There are six audio tracks offered as bonuses. These include a shared interview with another dating guru and buddy of Xuma’s by the name of Dean Cortez (whose own ‘Alpha Immersion’ training course was very recently ripped to shreds by yours truly), as well as an audio lecture on how a bad boy should be able to control the discourse with a girl (“Control the Frame Game”).
Another audio is that of Carlos supposedly having some kind of radio chat with a guy taking the Bad Boy Formula course, where advice is freely offered by Xuma in an affable, buddy kind of way. He has an interview as well with Marni Kinrys (“WingGirl”), which offers some interesting insight into what women ‘expect’ of men, how she views bad boys, and how bad boys can get the women they want, etc.
Bad Boy Overdrive is covered in Parts 1 and 2, which is what Xuma calls his technique as if on “turbo”. It’s ultimately about being able to seduce women without having to be all nice about it, which is what guys really want in the end, right? The Bad Boy Formula is also provided with MP3 files (in 2 parts) and as an audiobook (in 4 parts plus a bonus).
There are additional Reference Manuals, divided into 3 books, none of which I could seem to access, as a password was required to open each PDF. I just could not work out (or perhaps did not have?) the required password. What I could open was the “Bad Boy Formula MIND MAPS” which, as you can see, are a project manager’s wet dream – Jesus!:
And how does it look and feel?
The website itself is nothing special – very blog-like and pedestrian in design and layout, to be very honest. Even the logo itself seems like a last-minute tacked on affair, with very little imagination and basically pandering to the lowest common denominator for these types of dating courses for guys.
As for the videos, they’re hardly arresting. In fact, they’re boring as fuck. The videos are basically Xuma spouting away on camera in an inserted window whilst the rest of the page is a grey background with some writing on it, and to which he keeps referring. Thrilling. Worse still, some of the content is presented in a series of dull-as-ditchwatertree tree flow diagrams, as seen here:
He clicks here and clicks there on his trees, with new boxed info coming up with each click. We are talking dropdown menus after dropdown menus, in a constant river of menus that never seem to stop and allow the man to keep talking and talking, as with this screenshot of Xuma’s Menu Mania:
It’s dour stuff. These make me think that Xuma must be a frustrated management consultant at heart, what with his obsessive-compulsive use of flow diagrams that are best left to PowerPoint presentations by little grey men in little grey suits in little grey offices. Yip, I had a real issue with this very prosaic, very MS Project approach to online training.
What’s To Like About The Bad Boy Formula?
- There’s a lot of work here. Whilst I am not of the ‘more is better’ school of training people, I can at least acknowledge that Carlos Xuma has provided a lot of information here. If one were to patiently wade through all the video clips and audio clips, then there is no doubt learning and possible insights to be had.
- Some of the psychology that id discussed is interesting. There are angles and riffs to this training that are admittedly a cut above the rest. There is an attempt to bring in thinking and theorizing that goes beyond mere hack Psych 101, as is so often the case in lesser and lazier training courses of this type. The psychology is not always put to its best or most convincing use, but at least it’s there and some of it could be useful to a guy who pays attention.
- Carlos Xuma may not have the most engaging personality, and his nasal drawl can get distracting and even annoying, to be horribly honest. But at least the man treats his students like adults. At issue are (mostly, although not always) adult situations and both men and women being spoken about as if they’re adults. Xuma doesn’t make the fatal mistake of veering too often into that most puke-inducing segment of the guy dating course world, namely Fratboyland.
What’s Not To Like About The Bad Boy Formula?
- It’s too much. And it’s too all over the place. There’s too much information, it’s all too disjointed and it just gets piled on – relentlessly and without mercy. It’s not even overwhelming – after a while it’s downright off-putting. Xuma, like so many of his cohorts and fellow ‘gurus,’ is simply in desperate (and I mean D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E) need of a good editor; that is, a tough and uncompromising person who tells him to stay on point and stop all the waffle and veering all over the place. That’s what Xuma needs. Trim it, buddy! Lean should be the keyword for a guru like this. Sheesh!
- Sorry, but some of it is just bogus bullshit. There are too many examples and ‘case studies’ which are either anything but, or they are just downright stupid or wishful thinking shite. The wide-eyed ‘analysis’ of ‘bad boys’ from movies and so-called fictional characters was like watching an awe-struck teenager gushing about his favourite movies and action heroes – it was painful to watch. And not acceptable for any training pitched at adults and to supposedly be taken seriously.
- Stop with the damn tree flow diagrams and endless drop-down menus and the like! A few of those here and there would have been fine, even adding gravitas to the content. But slide after slide of them just became tantamount to the rantings of a shit-boring project manager who loves to sit in meetings all bloody day long playing with his slides! It was repetitive and dull, and was the antithesis of anything remotely ‘bad boy’…
The Bad Boy Formula has some interesting things to share. It tells guys that they can be bad boys without having to resort to being absolute assholes that no one, girls included, wants to be around. It also provides some interesting psychological theories and analysis on how guys act, how girls act, what each usually wants and how guys can attain greatness by tapping into their inner alpha male.
Where The Bad Boy Formula falls apart is in its lack of real focus and its eventual inertia due to the simple fact that there is just too much information and too much going on. The fact that one is buried under an avalanche of theories and concepts in an endless rote of tree flow charts makes the training increasingly dull and, ultimately, too daunting for its own good.
This training may still appeal to those guys who love poring over training information as they would endless spreadsheets. It may appeal to guys who believe that the more information overload you get, the more likely you will learn and actually feel the change. For other guys, though, this training will become too tedious and lack the purpose and direction that they may seek.
The Bad Boy Formula is not rubbish nor is it entirely bogus, even if some of its elements are. It does, however, strive to sell a concept in a mostly unconvincing manner. Will it make true believers of guys? Not all, that’s for sure. Some guys may appreciate the amiable ramble on offer, but many guys would surely want a more structured and defined path to becoming really bad boys.