What Are the Bases in Dating? A Beginner’s Guide to Dating

Although this article is intended for individuals who have just started out in the dating scene, it is also an informative resource for enlightenment and a refresher for those who plan to go back to dating.

Dating could be the most complex social activity because it involves two different individuals who are trying to develop a mutual interest towards each other. If you are wondering what are the bases in dating jargon, then we’ve got you covered.

As a teenager, you would feel left out when some of your classmates talk about certain terms that you don’t understand. As someone who is new to the dating world, particularly American dating, you may or may not have heard about the bases in dating. Well, it is about time to know each of the four bases to help you get in the loop.

What Are the Bases in Dating?

When it comes to dating, the “base” ceases to be a baseball terminology but is now a metaphor used to refer to sex and other sexual intimacy activities. The bases in relationships are real and are probably happening already but which you unaware of.

Do not freak out or get embarrassed when you reach these bases. It is natural and doesn’t entirely define who you are. To help you get started, here are the four bases in relationships:

First Base

The first base is probably the favorite of many. It involves kissing—French kissing to be exact. It is sweet, harmless, and emotional. It may involve hand in the hair or neck, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be extreme.

The first base usually happens in the first or second date. The pleasurable kissing session is more like a way to test the waters and see if there really is some kind of spark between you and your date.

Second Base

Second base is still French kissing but to a more intense level. This involves touching, grasping, and rubbing the breasts, nipples, chest, and anything above the waist. For a more visual orientation and an idea of this scenario, think of the time you and your date watch a movie on the couch. You start to kiss each other, which would get a little more extreme.

During the second base, there is more touching, and the kiss gets hotter. For the woman, the breast gets much heavier and fuller. For the man, his element totally gets harder.

Third Base

The third base is technically called oral sex. It involves blowjobs and other oral techniques. It is the touching and playing of the vagina, clitoris, penis, testicles, and other parts below the waist. Although it is a lot more intense than the first and second bases, there is no penetration happening at this moment.

Imagine when you are on the couch. The third base is the time when you are no longer paying attention to the movie. Both of you are completely lost and attentive to each other. You touch each other and stimulate below your waists.

Fourth Base

Also called the home run, the fourth base is the finale. It happens when you both have gone all the way down, and you are actually having intercourse already. This is the moment when some lose their virginity.

Other Dating Baseball Metaphors You Need to Know

It seems like American dating has a lot of baseball metaphors. Although the following are no longer referring to the bases of dating, they still pertain to the sexual activity. It would be informative to know about them before they are brought up to any discussion.


This term is already outdated but is still rarely used. Pitching means a man does anal sex. It usually makes sense when he performs anal sex to another man.


Catching is the opposite of pitching. It means that a man receives anal sex from another man.


Srikeout has a negative connotation because it means that you were unsuccessful at hitting any of the bases. This means that you fail at foreplay or sexual intercourse.

Although it implicates an undesirable meaning, try to look at it with a shade of positivity. More than you know, a lot of men and women experience the same scenario.

Strikeout means that you’re not yet at the right moment to share an intimate activity. It could be either because you drank too much, or you have a special connection towards another individual.


A switch-hitter is a bisexual. It means that they “bat” for either a man or a woman.

Playing for the other team

Another baseball metaphor that refers to the LGBTQ community, “playing for the other team” means the person is gay or lesbian. It is a witty terminology you use when you don’t want the eaves-dropping neighbor to understand what you and your friend are talking about.

Playing for both teams

This term basically means the same as the switch-hitter. If a person is playing for both teams, he is bisexual.

Points to Ponder

Knowing the intimacy activity in terms of the four bases in dating makes the relationship more goal-oriented. However, avoid focusing too much on each goal but on the experience that both you and your date enjoy. The sexual activity you can get should not be the purpose of your date. Instead, you should try to build a memorable, meaningful relationship that both of you agree on.

Each base can differ among individuals. So instead of wondering, don’t hesitate to ask your friends accurately what base they are talking about. More often than not, people who ask more details find out that they are not the only one who requires clarification about the bases.

Another point to ponder is to ensure that both of the partners have mutual consent when doing an intimate activity. Do not be afraid to ask your partner before, during, and after the activity if she or he agrees with it. It will help each of you to express what you want and set some boundaries.

Once you have mutual consent, or you want to experiment a little, make sure that you wear the proper gear. This is especially important to protect yourself from unwanted consequences. Sometimes, things happen when we least expect it, so be prepared with appropriate contraception and protection.

The Bottom Line

What are the bases in dating? Well, there are four of them, and each base is fun and should be enjoyed by both parties. Keep in mind, though, that you don’t have to touch all the four bases in one go.

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