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What to Do When Online Dating Doesn’t Work? - Date And Simple

What to Do When Online Dating Doesn’t Work?

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The 21st century has introduced an entirely new and interesting way of meeting potential romantic partners. Even you have probably spent hours swiping through profiles and messaging nice-looking people on dating sites and apps. Then again, what to do when online dating doesn’t work?

Online Dating Apps and Sites

In these platforms, you may receive responses from anyone every now and then, but do you actually want to date them? The worst thing that could happen is when you start to like someone, but you end up getting ghosted.

Especially for men, online dating is exhausting and needs a lot of effort. In fact, a third of men who use online dating apps and sites never go on even one date. These men spend around five hours a week looking at profiles and more than six hours sending messages.

For a total of approximately 12 hours per week, men hope to go on a date that could last at least 1.8 hours. Even women have the same problem in online dating.

You see, online dating apps and sites are not for everybody. Some even hate it as much as going to the dentist. Given the convenience of swiping through profiles and finding potential dates in the comforts of your couch, people still struggle to find the right person.

Common Mistakes in Online Dating

Here are some common mistakes that people—both men and women—commit in online dating. They are listed so that you won’t do or stop doing them.

  • Writing way too little or way too much
  • The profile is not attractive and doesn’t spark curiosity
  • Being too reserved or picky in the early stages
  • Not transitioning smoothly from online to offline
  • Talking too much about your successes

What to Do when Online Dating Doesn’t Work?

When online dating seems daunting and doesn’t work for you, remember that you are not the only one who goes through a similar circumstance. In fact, there are even some people who view dating apps and sites as a superficial place where you meet handsome men and women.

Here are some tips and tricks that could help you spare some of the failures in online dating:

·         Pay attention to your profile picture

Many online dating sites state that the profile content is the most important part. However, the truth of the matter is, it is the profile picture that determines how many clicks and messages you will get. A handsome or beautiful profile picture will receive hundreds or thousands of clicks.

The more someone receives messages, the pickier he/she will be. Imagine receiving 20 to 50 messages per day. Would you have the time and patience to open each one? A message from someone with an unattractive thumbnail photo will get deleted in no time.

  • Write an interesting profile

What you write in your profile should express vulnerability and sincerity. Avoid writing a formal profile like how you write a CV. It should be conversational, and you should open yourself up a bit without being scared of rejection.

Be comfortable and confident in divulging your thoughts and feelings. Let honesty and fairness accompany your personality. Write about your unique traits, peculiar things you have, and the likes. These pieces of information will help make your profile interesting.

  • Work on the first message

When you have come across an interesting person online, avoid shooting a random message blindly. To make online dating work for you, next to your profile info and photo, you should pay close attention to the first message.

Tailor your first message to your aims and to the person you are messaging. For men, avoid sending physical compliments to a beautiful woman because it will not have a big effect on her. For women, avoid being extremely flirtatious and give a man a sincere interest in his profile.

  • Transition from dating site to the first date smoothly

There are two ways to do it: the slower but safer option, and the quicker method that comes with a higher risk. Which one to choose depends entirely on your own decision and preferences.

The slower method involves building trust and connection. It is done by switching to a more personal platform of communication such as social networks where you can see each other’s photos and activities. It helps you build more trust and transition to speaking on the phone.

The other method is quicker than the first one. You can simply ask straight for a meetup. Do it with common sense and ask for a meet up at the right time, though. It might be anytime between 20 and 30 exchanges of emails, which is almost one week of exchanging messages before you can finally ask out.

Whether it is the slower method or the quicker one, both of you should be comfortable with it. As long as the interest is there, the meet up will still happen in the near future. When you got a “no” for an answer, don’t get too discouraged. Respect the person, understand, be patient, and keep an interest toward each other.

Things to Do When Online Dating Is Not Fun for You

Your friends might have been bugging you all these years to use online dating sites and apps. Then, you tried. But eventually, you feel frustrated about wasting your precious time on something that is not paying off.

The best thing to do is to take a break. Try to put your time and energy on the things that will make you feel good. Try to get more life in the real world. Go out and join interesting groups where you can meet new people.

You can try and join sports clubs, pursue hobbies, be active in your local church or volunteer group, re-connect with old friends, and more. There’s a lot of ways to building an interesting life that you can enjoy.


While online dating is a convenient way to find suitable and potential love partners, it is not always that easy. Some people are successful in it that they were able to find their significant other. However, it is not everybody’s cup of tea.

If you are wondering what to do when online dating doesn’t work, the very first thing is to acknowledge that you are not alone. Tweaking on some of your dating profile info is also a huge step to make it work. Lastly, transitioning smoothly from online to offline defines a successful online dating experience.

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