Dating can be a complicated social interaction among individuals. While the norm is being romantically involved with only one person, others date to meet many people and have more chances of meeting the “One“. Based on popular belief, men do the latter, so why do guys date more than one woman?
No matter how a man tells you, you know their intentions through their actions. Dating is a process where you discover whether you are two individuals on the same page with the same fundamental values.
In this stage, you tend to ignore the red flags and let your imagination decide. But now you braved to face this one famous red flag, and we’ll make you understand it better.
Why Do Guys Date More Than One Woman?
There could be several reasons why men get involved with multiple partners. Some men are not ready to commit to a long-term relationship.
They might not have enough time, money, or courage to love only one person back. Others are uncertain of what they want.
Some men date multiple partners to get more validation of their masculinity or themselves. There are also those who are driven by sexual impulse, while others feel like they can love more than one partner. Polyamory: that is how science addresses it.
1. Evolutionary Psychology Explains
Psychology says that it is a natural tendency for humans, especially the men, to wish for multiple partners. The desire of the men for sexual variations throughout their lives is significantly higher than of the women’s. This is further backed up by the evolutionary perspective by describing it as the survival of the fittest.
One of the significant human instincts is to produce as many offspring as possible to ensure that our genes are carried on to the coming generations. Men approach this “mating game” very differently than women do. For men, sleeping with more women increases their chances of having many babies.
The same is true with women: dating multiple partners also increases their chance to get pregnant. But bearing a child is too demanding and requires massive investment from the mother’s part.
Aside from the nine-month pregnancy, mothers need to support the baby’s survival through financial, physical, and emotional resources. If the father fails to stick around to help out with the baby’s survival is a huge evolutionary disadvantage for the mother.
2. The Backburner Relationship
Dating multiple partners at once is different from a backburner relationship. According to a study published in Computers in Human Behavior, a backburner is “someone to whom one is not committed presently, and with whom a person maintains some degree of communication, with the purpose of keeping or establishing the possibility of future romantic and/or sexual involvement.”
A backburner could be someone who you’ve met in the club, a random person who you stroked a conversation in the coffee shop, or a high school crush whose Instagram photos you browse occasionally. You think of what-if’s with this person, but they become backburners if you actually reach out to them.
Sleeping with multiple women and keeping women on the back burner can be explained by the same evolutionary principle: to explore more potential mates. Keeping the doors cracked open leaves a chance to date that one person when the present relationship/s fails.
3. What Men Say
Men admit that they want to choose the right one the first time. They don’t wish to try constantly, deal with break-ups, or divorce.
In the dating norm, after a man breaks up, the other option is usually not available anymore. They tend to commit to another woman quickly, which is quite risky.
For men, dating only one woman is irrational. Unless they decide to be exclusive, do not expect you are the only woman he is dating. It is a much analyzed approach that is a lot different from women’s.
Misconceptions About Men Who Date More Than One Woman
Men who date more than one woman are often judged. Here are some common misconceptions about them:
1. They are only after sex.
When men end the relationships after a few weeks, women tend to think that they were used for sex. This is more possible if he has gone out with you on three to four dates in one month. However, it could not be the case if he goes out with you two or more dates a week.
Time is also valuable for men, so they do not want to waste time. They immediately stop dating the wrong woman before it advances into something serious. It could be worse for a short while, but they instead go back to pursue the right one.
2. They are afraid to commit.
Another misconception about men dating multiple partners is they have commitment phobia. This is not always the case.
Men, especially with higher self-worth, know that they deserve the best things in life. Instead of merely taking what life has to offer, they are not settling down for just a pretty face. They don’t want just an amazing girl, but an amazing girl who is the right one for them.
Therefore, men tend to stay single for years or date more than one woman at some point in their life. This is not because they are afraid to commit; it is because they believe that they deserve the best and are determined not to settle for a mediocre personality.
3. They have bad intentions.
Society views women as victims of ended relationships or bad dating experiences. The same is true when their dates see other women. Women and the community perceive men who date multiple partners as womanizers, flawed, players, and only after sex.
However, reality says the opposite. Men are always looking for the right one by looking for her as quickly as possible.
They are also tired of dating and would love to settle down with the right one. Unfortunately, they haven’t found her yet, so they keep trying.
Before you blame yourself for a wrong date or relationship, know that men and women have very different perception and approach to finding the right one. Guys who date more than one woman have their reasons, which are validated by science and psychology.
If you put your emotions aside, you would fully understand why do guys date more than one woman. It is logical not to expect anything serious from a man unless he says he is ready to commit and admit that you two are going exclusive to each other.
Dating could be exhausting, but once you found the one person who puts up with your imperfections, it is worth it.