People feel jealousy in all forms of relationship—whether for a friend, a sibling, or a colleague. It is an emotion that results from a person you want to impress giving more time and attention to another person other than you. Men, as prideful as they can be, are no exception. In fact, there are times that they feel the pangs of jealousy more intensely than women, and yes, even when they are not entitled to. So, why do guys get jealous when your not dating them?
Why Do Guys Get Jealous When Your Not Dating Them
Unlike women, guys are easier to understand because they are simple and straightforward. They can be mysterious, but most of the time, you can easily tell what is going on in their minds—including the reasons for their self-entitled jealousy.
Let us explore the possibilities below.
1. It’s just their primal instinct.
Going back to the basics, men are hormonal human beings with the need to survive their genetic line. They are predisposed to challenge another man who proves to be a threat to his gene’s survival. If he sees the woman he likes in the arms of another man, it is only natural to self-assess and ask himself, “What does that guy have, which I don’t have, that makes the woman I like more attracted to him?”
He will try to find out the answer by observing and, during the process, feelings of jealousy can develop. He may find out that the other man is indeed more capable than him in providing for the woman he likes, or that he is a much better man in many ways. Whatever the answer, he will most likely be transparent of his jealousy the next time he encounters the woman he likes.
2. He has (secretly) become attached to you.
In every girl-guy friendship, there is this invisible “friendship” line drawn in between. He may be just a neighbor, a schoolmate, or a colleague to you, but he may have crossed the line a long time ago and has become too attached to you, especially if you are close. In short, he may have developed romantic feelings for you.
If he shows signs of jealousy, confirm it first yourself. Know the difference between his actions that express “I am just warning and protecting you from that guy trying to hit on you” and “I am jealous of that guy you’ve been blabbering about for weeks.”
If you can’t figure out the difference, ask him directly why he is being overprotective or why his sudden prodding in your love life makes him seem jealous. Be prepared for either being called an overly-dramatic queen or receiving a love confession.
3. He is narcissistic.
Guys who are narcissistic have a strong sense of self-entitlement. They think that the world only revolves around them so, whether or not you are dating them, they will feel like they have all the right in the world to feel jealous.
Sometimes, a guy is too self-absorbed that he assumes you are also interested or attracted to him. If he thinks that way, he’ll probably think that he has control over whom you see or flirt with. Thus, the jealousy ensues.
Unless they overcome their egoistic way of thinking, you can’t do anything about it. However, if his expressions of jealousy are already too extreme to the point that you feel hurt by his words or actions, discuss it with him privately, or talk about it with him and a mutual friend.
4. He still has feelings for you.
We have talked about guys getting jealous because of their growing feelings for you. Similarly, a former lover can also get jealous even when you are not dating him anymore because he still has feelings for you and hasn’t completely moved on. It still pains him to see you having fun with another guy because he still loves you and secretly wishes that he is the one you are with now.
Sometimes, even if he is also dating someone new, he will feel jealous because he is not used to seeing you in the arms of another guy. This can be a possibility if you broke up on good terms and decided to be civil.
Men are as vain as women, so your former lover may be inclined to compare himself to the man you are dating now. If he sees you happy with him, he will be curious—and then jealous—because he will realize that he also wants the same happiness with you.
5. You are in a vague relationship.
Indeed, you can like a person as much as you want even if you are not dating them. Dating is only a term used for a phase where two people get to know each other.
Some deny that they are dating and insists that they are just “hanging out” from time to time. They refuse to call what they are doing “dating” because it makes them feel awkward and obligated to move on to a deeper level of intimacy if they officially date. Simply put, these couples do not want the commitment the word “dating” bestows on them. You are, as the popular saying goes, “more than friends but less than lovers”—whatever that means.
Being in this kind of vague relationship makes it more complicated because you do not know what to expect from each other. If he shows jealousy, then be understanding; he spends most of his time with you, so it is only natural to feel jealous if you suddenly divert your time and attention to another guy.
So, why do guys get jealous when your not dating them? There are several possible answers to this. Fortunately, most guys are easy to read, and their feelings are very transparent. Their jealousy can be attributed to something as simple as their genetic predisposition to something as complicated as their feelings in a vague relationship.
Reading between the possibilities stated above, we can streamline the answer to just only one main reason: the guy probably likes you! Guys will never feel jealous if he is not attracted or interested in a girl. After all, why would he care whomever you wish to hang out with, right? He is bothered by it because he cares about you and wants your undivided attention.