If we had a penny for every time someone asked us “Why don’t I have a boyfriend?” we would definitely build our castle. It’s not just us, though. We can imagine single ladies rolling eyes and grinding teeth whenever they hear this mainstream question.
It sucks when everyone around you believes that it’s time for you to get committed. Is being single really your fault?
The trick here is to stop trying hard to get a boyfriend and start being yourself. Once you get a hold of that, you will see where you are going wrong. To help you out, we have shared our two cents regarding this matter, which we are sure you will find useful.
Why Don’t I Have a Boyfriend?
First of all, we would suggest you ditch the old fashioned theory of finding your soulmate for your happily ever after since people have got it all wrong. It is important to acknowledge that being single is as normal as being in a relationship. Only then, you can know your real value, which will help you find the best man for yourself.
1. Bad Experiences
Your previous relationships heavily influence your choice to stay single. To be honest, heartbreaks can make you realize that settling for less is never an option. It is okay to remain single than to fall for the wrong person again and again.
Take all the time you need to heal from past experiences. In fact, a break from relationships can mentally prepare you for future commitment.
2. Possessive Friends
By any chance, if your friends have a habit of being a full time certified FBI agents and even have the labels ready for every possible scenario such as:
- if a guy is asking you out, he is desperate;
- if a guy is being too clingy, he is an attention seeker;
- if a guy is expecting you to make the first move, he is egoistic,
then that may be one of the reasons you are still single. Other than this, they will hardly ever be satisfied with the guys you like. Let us get this straight; it is almost impossible to date a guy your friends don’t like. They will make sure you end up disliking him within a few days.
This is why it is necessary to draw a line between what you want and what your friends want. Take their advice, but don’t let them get into your head.
3. Too Much Drama
This is the huge turn off because you can’t avoid drama when you’re in a relationship. Once you are over the honeymoon phase, the reality starts to kick in, which is not what most of the movies and TV shows portray. Unfortunately, the high school romance you idealize takes a U-turn pretty soon.
Simply put, a tip here is to accept reality. There will be manipulative games, jealousy issues, countless fights over stupid and serious matters, and non-stop clinginess. Unless you aren’t ready to deal with every aspect of a relationship, it is better to steer clear of a boyfriend.
4. Emotional Instability
The best time to get into an intimate relationship is when you are emotionally stable and mentally prepared. Trust us: it’s not your boyfriend’s responsibility to keep you happy. In fact, the idea behind a relationship is to share happiness, instead of taking the responsibility to keep your partner happy.
For now, why don’t I have a boyfriend is because I don’t know what to expect from a relationship. How can I give my hundred percent to a relationship when I am still not the best version of myself?
Similarly, your motto should be to stop looking for a “perfect love” and start being happy with what you have. Work on your flaws and spread positive vibes.
5. False Identity
When you have a crush on someone, you try your best to get into his good books. You feel butterflies in your stomach, and without realizing, you try to be someone you are not. As casual it may sound, but this is the first stage of losing yourself in the process of impressing the guy you like.
In the beginning, you’re not affected much by the sudden change as long as you are enjoying the perks of dating your favorite guy. However, things start getting complicated with time.
As far as our experiences are concerned, it is necessary to have a sense of individuality. Always be what you are because the right guy will never appreciate the illusion you are putting him in.
How to Get a Boyfriend?
For starters, getting into a relationship is easy, but staying committed is not. Once you are mentally prepared to settle with a guy, you have to be careful about a few points. Here is the list of tips you should follow to have a perfect relationship:
1. Drop the Princess Attitude
If you are looking for someone who can pamper you every second, then, unfortunately, all you will get is a guy with low self-esteem. Don’t expect your boyfriend to be your worshipper because healthy relationships don’t work like that.
2. Learn to Give Space
Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to stick around with each other throughout the day. Let him hang out with his friends and family.
A clingy girlfriend is hard to deal with, so be patient and take things slow. Also, keep in mind that you have a life outside of your relationship.
3. Stop Being Full of Yourself
If your conversations are mostly about you and your ex, then you know where you are going wrong. When you are in a relationship, your world shouldn’t only revolve around you.
Make sure you are there for him whenever he needs you. Tell him you are curious to know about his day. Don’t be the taker only.
4. Let Go of Your Demanding Nature
No matter what he does for you, you are always unhappy. Apart from this, he is usually the one apologizing because according to you, you are right in every argument.
It’s better to let go of your ego as being right or wrong is subjective. Appreciate what he is doing for you and sort out the matters calmly. Overreacting at small issues could be a real deal breaker.
In the end, we would like to say that focus on your career, work on your flaws, and the right guy will fall for you sooner or later. Until then, have fun being single because not having a boyfriend is not the end of the world.